The big second chapter, it is the longest of the three sections in the book, deals with Berger's time on Visonti's side. It ranges from 1964 to 1976.
Berger was learning Italian in a summer school of the University of Perugia.
His first meeting with Visconti was fate: Berger had to learn about history and architecture, too, so he wanted to visit Assisi with a friend. (He tells us about his passion for art: his paintings his books - he reads everything about the roles he plays, for example Ludwig II. One of his favourite books is "Querelle" by French writer Jean Genet). But this friend wanted to go to Volterra, near Florence. They sat down in a pizzeria.
It was fate that Visconti filmed there on this very day!!! (it was "Sandra" starring Claudia Cardinale). Berger was curious about the shooting. He forgot everything around him and watched for hours. In his dreams he was already taking part. It was getting late and a bit cold, but Berger was only wearing a shirt. Visonti must have seen him, so he ordered one of his assitants to bring the young man a scarf. Then Visconti came to him and asked him - speaking German perfectly - what lead him to this place. Berger told him about his studies and Visconti invited him for lunch the next day.
When they had lunch, Visconti would not leave Berger for one second, but the young men was afraid of his feelings. (Visconti was not his first man, but, it seems, the first for whom Berger had a loving feeling.) He fled - but not without leaving his adresses in Perugia and Salzburg. Would Berger have visited Assisi, they would never have met!!!
Berger wanted a real relationship. He wanted to live in Paris. And - he wanted luxury. They lived together in Paris. Visconti was a bit conservative, he did not want people to know he was gay - even the people working for him (he had several maids, a cook, etc.). So they had seperate bedrooms, but Berger would come to Visconti's room at night... But Visconti also told him to leave afterwards and sleep in his own bed. His behaviour shows that he belonged to a different generation. Berger needed young people around him. So often at night he left the house in secret. And his night flights became wilder and wilder. Visconti prefered to read and hear
classical music between his films or wrote scripts. Berger confesses that he played a game first, but very soon he really fell in love with Visconti. Visconti was not only a lover, a friend and a father to Berger, he also was his teacher. He told him to learn English well, he taught him about art, literature, etc. Later Visonti would even change a few things about his castle "La Columbaia" on Ischia. Berger says that Visconti was better than any real architect. Visconti wanted correctness. As a result, Berger has a few strange obsessions now: He is hooked on cleaning his flat up, it cannot be clean enough. Then he loves to rearrange his furniture - all night long. And he has a passion for packing suitcases. He describes it as a sort of science.
He says he needs a whole day to pack his thing when he travels. The most important thing is that his clothes do not have creases afterwards. He prefers rearranging his furniture or cleaning his flat to drugs and alcohol nowadays. But he sometimes still feels the need to drink or to other nasty things.
Visconti also introduced him to knew people. Were it musicians and models first (in London), was Berger now introduced to international artists - conductor Leonard Bernstein, opera singer Maria Callas, ballet dancer Rudolf Nurejew - Berger had an affair with him, Nurejew was sexually hyper-active, but Berger disliked the Russian's passion for garlic and vodka. Nurejew wanted to live with berger but he could not give him the savety of Visconti. For a short time, Nurejew was his lover, Visconti was his husband and his father.
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end of part 5

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/02.1999

Visconti did not care about his belonging to the aristocracy. His philosophy was a mixture of a radical quest for truth and a radical marxism. Berger tried to understand his films. Now he says: "I think the beauty of his films speaks for itself." Visconti let Berger work hard before he gave him his first big role in "The Damned" which became his breakthrough. Berger changes quickly between the description of his acting in Visconti's films and the description of their relationship: "I will be his widow until the end of my life. Sometimes a merry one, sometimes drunk, even hysteric, but always mourning. He did not really show feelings. But his films show his understanding for the real truths and necessities of life."
He tells us that Visconti was the man, he was the woman in their relationship. So Visconti was the one who was the sexually more active part.
This changed, nowadays Berger plays the role of the man when he takes boys into his bed. During the shooting of the films, Visconti's hard work did not allow any sex, they made "erotic breaks". Berger says "The Damned" were hard work. It took days until his Marlene-Dietrich-impression was perfect. (Dietrich called him up after the premiere of the film in New York and said he did great. She event sent him a picture of her and wrote 'Whose prettier? Love, Marlene'.) When Berger had a day off he went partying with his Roman jet-set-friends. He did not want to betray Visconti. But otherwise he says he would not want to miss any of his little or big affairs during their relationship. In the end of 1965 Berger moved into Visconti's villa in Roman Via Salaria 366.
Berger played small roles in "The Witches" (1964) and "Young Tigers (1967) until he had his big chance in "The Damned", Visconti's film full of love for Germany, but also including warnings (fascism). He wanted to show all political events through the Essenbeck-family which is modelled after the Krupp-family. Berger tells us he knew the last of this dynasty, Arndt von Bohlen und Halbach (called "The last Krupp"). He was gay, but also married.
Arndt was far more excentric than Berger, he was very rich, but still he was broke soon, because he needed millions of dollars every year. He did a lost of plastic surgery and face lifting, was very depressive and an alcoholic.
He died of cancer in the eigthies. (I read a biography about him.) Back in the sixties he was funny and famous for his big parties. They often met in Kitzbhel, the well-known Austrian winter meeting-point where the rich and famous ski. Berger also was there with his Brasilian friend Florinda Bolkan (he had met her in Rome). He calls her "a friend for life" and she was a companion on his journeys. Nowadays Berger, who does not want to travel alone, takes his "good soul", maid and cook Maria or Florinda's ex-lover, Lorenzo Ripoli, with him on his trips around the world.
When "The Damned" finally started, his name "Steinberger" was too long, so he changed it into "Berger". (A catchy name. You immediately keep it, when you hear it.)
Berger tells us abot Visconti's style: "He is a master of narration. In privat and in his films. He did not change or interprete literature. Spaces and beauty were his themes. He was the novelist of film."
Sometimes when Visconti wrotes scripts, Berger visited pop-concerts. He loved and still loves the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan. The Beatles played a concert in Rome in 1967. Visconti wanted to make Berger happy, so he invited the Fab Four to a private dinner. They talked about music. Visconti said that pop and classical music should come together, they should make a concert with Leonard Bernstein. The Beatles were enthusiastic about this idea, but their manager did not like it. It was too soon for such a project back then. Berger liked all four of the Beatles, but he had the best relationship to Ringo Starr, they are still friends. The superstars were all a bit shy and nervous because of Visconti. But when he talked about his opera productions for too long, they also got a bit bored. Still they talked until six in the morning. Visconti wanted to understand Berger's passion for pop music. He was the perfect host, but after the Beatles had left he said: "Why don't they cut their hair?" Berger also wanted to have long hair, but Visconti had forbidden it.
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end of part 6

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/02.1999

Berger talks about his friendship with Rolling Stones-singer Mick Jagger.
They were partying in New York, Paris, everwhere. No city was safe from them. Bianca Jagger was there, too. Berger liked both of them, he even landed in bed with them. But he tells us that there was no sex: "We came home in the morning. We were so tired and fell asleep. Nothing happened."
The window of their hotel room was open, so they awoke at noon. Beneath theyr window was the garden of the hotel, with an outdoor-caf. Mick and Helmut could not fall asleep again. Angry, as they were, they urinated on the heads of the guests of the caf... Of course, their hotel bill was enormously high. There are bans on Berger entering the Paris "Plaza", the Munich "Four Seasons" and "Palace"... Berger talks about Bianca Jagger and that they did a lot of travelling and shopping. He likes to be with women, although he feels more sexually attracted to men.
Then Berger tells us about "The Damned", the fact that he was very nervous when the shooting started and could not sleep. But Visconti knew about such problems and so Berger had his first scene late, on the fourth day. The premier of the great success was in Cinema Barberini in Rome. When Berger had troubles with Visconti he checked into the hotel "Riviera". Of course, with a minimum of 12 suitcases! He was there pretty often, so he left a few suitcases in the hotel... Berger was nervous during the premiere so he went into "Harry's Bar" for some champagne. He is always very nervous about the reaction of the press and the public on his acting. This shows that Berger is really a shy person. His biggest problem is his fear that people do not love him. For the next two weeks he was afraid to leave the house. Over night, he had become a star!
Berger changes shortly to 1967's "Picture of Dorian Gray", which made English papers call him "the world's most beautiful man". He saw the film as a chance to make experiences as an actor.
Now he was a person of public interest and made his first PR-tour which lead him through the USA. Of course, the premiere of "The Damned" in New York was a success. And of course, the boy from Austria was nervous again, so he needed a few Bloody Marys. He met Marisa Berenson in New York and they danced through the New York-nights. But his days were full of interviews so he was very tired, "fick and fucky", as he says. So he stopped shaving to get a few minutes more sleep.
His friend Egon von Frstenberg lead him to the club "The Glory Hole", a nasty place. There were holes everywhere. The two men put their private parts in there. You never knew who or what was behind there. They had great fun there an stayed until six in the morning. Visconti had to leave America soon (he was not wanted as a communist and only allowed to stay for the premier of "The Damned". Visconti did not like the USA anyway, but he must have enjoyed the "dirty" T-shirts Berger brought him.)
Berger needed company and so his friend Ylia Suchanek came from Austria. She is on the famous picture they made in Chicago (page 155).
Back in Rome, Berger heard of the project "The Garden of Finzi Contini". It was directed by Vittiorio de Sica. He wanted Berger to play in the film so Visconti made a dinner. Berger was very excited and nervous at the test-shooting where they looked for a female partner for him. He fainted after a kiss with Dominique Sanda. Again he had problems in the beginning and again the film turned out to be a success: it won the Oscar for the best foreign film.
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end of part 7

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/04.1999

Berger writes that Visconti wanted him to share his hobbies and interests.
He learned him more and more about art and introduced him to new people.
For example, he met famous conductor Herbert von Karajan at the 'Salzburger Festspiele'. Berger enjoyed that he could bring his mother and Visconti together. The days in Salzburg were relaxation, a holiday. They slept long, went to Caf Tomaselli and had their dinners at 'Goldener Hirsch'. Needless to say, that stars like Romy Schneider, Yves Saint Laurent or the Rothschild family were there. Visconti did not like Karajan and he did not like that he was the director AND conductor of his operas. So he left during Karajan's "Boris Godunow". Everybody noticed, because Berger and Visconti were sitting in one of the front rows. Berger and Karajans lovely wife Eliette wanted to bring Visconti and Karajan together, but failed. The two men met, but they only talked about food and did not mention one thing about art. Visconti did not like the star-cult around Karajan. However, the biggest difference between this two artists was that Karajan was arrogant and Visconti modest.
Berger went skiing again in the winter time. Visconti wanted him to go to Kitzbhel, because he thought that Berger would only be doing nasty things in St.Moritz. Of course, that could not stop Berger. He spent the annual income of many people in four weeks (although he had a cheap room). Visconti feared that Helmut hurt himself when he skied, so he had a good insurance for "Ludwig II." which started a bit later. Berger moans about Visconti's love for quality and that he did not find it in any other director. Berger changes to his passion for buying pictures of new painters and that he discovered Heiko Pippig, a very talented man. Visconti taught him things about classical music, too. He learned about Mahler, but he confesses that he is not really into operas. It was difficult for him to get into Wagner for "Ludwig II." and says that he did not make it to see Wagner's whole "Ring der Nibelungen". Berger had to read not only everything about Ludwig, but also about Wagner for the film. He calls Wagner "a pig" and "a gangster".
But he liked Ludwig and still can identify with this man who was against war. He says that Ludwig is the role of his life. He was very nervous at the shootings and could not sleep. "In my dreams I became Ludwig. And at some point I became Ludwig in real life, too. Really. There are certain similarities between us. The deep fear of life, the loneliness among many people, the self-observation, the feeling that nobody understands you, the importance of style, culture and art" (I guess there is a little Ludwig and a little Helmut in all of us). Visconti only accepted the best. "It was a hard shooting and I would not have survived it withous my friend Romy Schneider." They sort of lived like brother and sister, and she was the big sister to him, even a bit mother when his real mother was not avaible.
Visconti made Schneider a real woman in "Boccaccio '70" - she had the little-girl-image before that. She played Elisabeth of Austria before in the famous "Sissy"-trilogy, but this Elisabeth was kitsch. It was the role that haunted her, the film is still played often on Austrian TV. So she did not want to be in "Ludwig II." first. But Visconti changed her mind: "Times have changed. You are not the little Sissy any more. Trust me. Start to hold your head up high. And walk like an empress." And you will agree that she was great in the film (perhaps her best role). But Schneider was not happy in real life. Though she was married again and had an affair with German Chancellor Willy Brandt, she still love Alain Delon. He was the love of her life. She was a great actress, but pills and alcohol lead to her early end.
But everything was fun when they were together at night after a hard day of shooting for "Ludwig II.". They played children's games and relayed with a glass of red wine. Schneider was kind of similar to Berger.
When they were shooting the film, they had to make breaks sometimes, because tourists wanted to see Ludwig's castle. Berger was there in his custome and did not move, so people thought he was part of the exhibition. Berger talks about an actor's problems, the hole in which he falls between two roles.
"Who understands the schizophrenia of an actor? You play a role for months, as if it was your real life. Then you are at home for a while, but after that you play the next role. What a chaos. And then there are all the people, they want to know what sort of life you lead. The looks behind your back. I don't feel good all the time. It is a very exhausting job. And if I have a problem, I simply leave and travel around. That's me. I don't want to talk about problems. I just leave." He says that his acting is a therapy against his shyness. He says that many friends did not want to live the exhausting life of an actor any more and left the scene, married and life in the country. Romy wanted to have a real family, too, but did not make it, although she was a great mother. Berger keeps all her letters, the one starting "Pour Helmut" is included in the book. They could laugh about everything, even Schneider's pearls were disappearing in a hole due to a mistake Berger made. Berger stills wears the ring of Schneider's grandmother which she gave to him. She was one of his best friends.
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end of part 8

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/10.1999

When Visconti did not go to Salzburg in one of the following years, Berger gave wild parties. But the wildest parties were those with his craziest clique, rich friends from Paris. They were in St-Tropez over the summer. "We let girls from Sweden fly in. We fucked them for three days and sent them home again. We were a famous clique, but people did not really like us, especially the nobility." Berger writes about parties and speaks about AIDS.
He heard about it first after the shooting of "Entebbe" in 1975. He never had sex without a condom since that time.
One of Berger's friends is Elčne d'Estenville (he made his 50th-birthday party in her house), she introduced him to princess Gracia of Monaco. Gracia was against the bigger influence of rich people like Onassis or the Italian mafia in Monaco.
Berger changes to his film works, talks about 1973's "Reigen", based on Arthur Schnitzler's drama and directed by Austrian theatre actor and director Otto Schenk. Berger liked shooting the film and he likes Austrian culture. He lived in famous Hotel "Sacher" during the shooting and enjoyed the High society of Vienna. Before that, he played in "Il Bacio della Scorpione" (1971) with Sydne Rome, the director was Duccio Tessari. He liked Sydne Rome and tells us that a love scene they had to play almost became real sex.
Berger changes topic and talks about houses and interior design. He says that he has a certain feeling for style and beautiful things. But sometimes he exaggerated. His and Visconti's house in Castelgandolfo cost a fortune.
Berger only bought the most expensive things. He had to have a boat's house, but completely forgot about buying a boat. When the everything was finished, they did not use the house anyway. Berger: "It was megalomania."
As Berger became older, he rebelled against his 'father' Visconti. He wanted his own flat and he wanted his own style. Berger wanted more independence.
He also looked for new directors, made a film with Tinto Brass ("Salon Kitty"). Visconti did not like this director. It was a good film though (Later on, Brass directed pseudo-art soft-sex-movies starring women with very big breasts and became a sort of Italian Russ Meyer). Berger also visited small experimental theaters. He was interested in underground culture.
In 1971 he started building his own house in Kitzbühel, he even made the plans for the house. It is a sort of Chalet, enormously big. A lot of architects were involved. However, Berger did not use this house too much.
He sold it to German soccer star Franz Beckenbauer in 1973. His costs were too high and his time to stay there too short.
Then Berger talks about his time on the yacht "Christina" of Aristoteles Onassis and his wife, the singer Maria Callas. He lived in pure luxury there. If anyone wanted to go to Rome or had someting to do in Paris, he was brought there by a helicopter. Three weeks of pure relaxation for Berger. Onassis was a nice guy. Berger even found him a little bit sexy. Berger got to know Onassis' big enemy Stavros Niarchos, also one of the richest men, later. But he was not the 'in'-guy like Onassis. Niarchos did not like parties. It was a big honour to get an invitation to his ship. It was an incredibly long yacht, the "Atlantis", 138 metre long. Of course there was a fight between Niarchos and Onassis who had the bigger ship. Niarchos won. And the big surprise was, that Berger was invited for a vacation on the "Atlantis". (Perhaps, because Niarchos had a crush on Berger's friend Elčne.) It would become a crazy trip.
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end of part 9

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/12.1999

Berger writes a lot about his trip on the "Atlantis". His lust for luxury was fulfilled on this ship. There were 32 people working for the passengers, in every room there was a picture by artists such as van Gogh or Warhol. The "Atlantis" was the biggest private yacht in the world at that time. It could only berth in the ports of Palma de Mallorca and Monaco. There was Niarchos, his son Philippe, Elčne, the American women Cleo Goldsmith and her sister Daida. Niarchos was angry immediately, because Elčne arrived late as she always did. She planted her own soya-beans in the bidet of her bathroom.
Every night they took one of the speed-boats to party in expensive night-clubs. Berger provoced a scandal, when he put silver paper on the port hole of his cabin, because he cannot sleep at daylight.
Later there were some very windy days. Everyone was sick, they drank a lot of Bloody Marys to get over their sickness. Soon they were out of Vodka, Whisky, Martini, Fernet Branca and Gin. Of course, a few things were destroyed by the wind, but more things were destroyed by the drunk people, so Niarchos was very angry. In Palma de Mallorca, Juan Carlos of Spain, now King, came on the ship for an exclusive diner. It was a very embarassing evening, because Berger's friend Cleo Goldsmith did not know him and asked:
"You want another drink, honey? Tell me, what are you doing in life?". Her sister Daida was wearing hot pants although Niarchos had forbidden wearing sexy clothes. The two ladies had to leave the ship.
In Marbella Elčne has a villa. Berger and her sniffed some cocaine. They came back to the port late, the ship had already left. They had some drinks and then organised a boat to get on the ship. Niarchos was very angry.
Berger and Elčne were so high, they did not care about him. Berger insisted that they would stay in her house. So they had to get back: "We packed our suitcases together. I had ten suitcases by Louis Vuitton. In this summer-night we were standing at the deck rail, dressed up. We threw our suitcases in the sea. After that Elčne and I jumped in. 12 metres. Just for fun."
Surprisingly, Niarchos invited Berger again in the next year, this time for a journey to Egypt. "I must have amused him." They visited the pyramides, but after that there was a kind of curse on them. A lot of people who were part of the journey hurt themselves badly afterwards. They had disturbed the gods. (Some of the stories about the two travels with Niarchos are not so interesting, because Berger writes more about other people than about himself in this parts.)
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end of part 10

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/13.1999

Berger writes about his friendship with Liz Taylor. They shot "Aschermittwoch" ("Ash Wednesday" 1973) together. Richard Burton was very jealous when Berger and his wife had to play a love scene. They all celebrated new year's party in Switzerland afterwards, Burton broke his arm, because he was drunk and fell. Berger liked him, although Burton often treated his wife Liz Tayloer bad. Berger's friend Lorezo Ripoli was there, too. They had great fun, when Liz Taylor woke them in the morning. Both men wore very small red slips. She was surprised. But Italians say that you should wear red clothes for the first 24 hours of ever new year. If you do it, it will become a happy year. At the same time, Visconti suffered a stroke after cutting "Ludwig II." the whole night through. One half of his body was paralyzed after that. Visconti had smoked 80 cigarettes a day his whole life through! Berger was shooting in Paris. He had a lot of whisky in the hotel bar and got to the airport: "I arrived in Rome drunk. I directly drove to the hospital 'Flavia', where the whole Visconti-family already was. They would not let me see him. Everyone went to his room, but they told me: "Helmut, not you!" I will never forgive them." But of course he found a way to see his Luchino. Berger went to Paris again and talked to Romy Schneider. Her brother was a famous doctor and chief of a hospital in Zürich, Switzerland. They brought Visconti there for his operation. It was a success. After some time he even started to walk again. Visconti could not stop working and immediately started writing the script of "Violence and Passion". The shooting was hard work for Berger, because he played in two films at the same time: "Violence and Passion" and, in Milan, "La Colonna Infame" (directed by Neol Risi). Visconti made his film in English, Risi in Italian. Visconti was working harder than ever after he had recovered from his stroke. Visconti wanted to make a film version of "Zauberberg" by author Thomas Mann, but there were troubles with Mann's heirs. So he made "Die Unschuld" ("Innocence"). Berger could not play in the film, because he already had other projects and shot "Die romantische Engländerin" ("The Romantic Englishwoman"). Berger was very tired after that film and so Visconti told him to visit Florinda Bolkan in her house in Rio de Janeiro. Florinda and her friends behaved strangely. Berger knew that something was wrong. After a few hours they told Berger that Visconti had died while Berger was flying from Rome to Rio. "I had a black out. I beat up Marina, Florinda's friend. After I had come to my senses again, I packed my suitcases and drove to the airport. I wanted to buy my first-class-ticket to Rome, but the Italian "Alitalia" took me to Rome for free. Why? Because of respect for the master Luchino Visconti. Only Italians do such things." Berger could not realize what had happened. He tried to reach Visconti on the telephone and perhaps he would have tried to hurt himself, but Maria did not leave him alone for one second and slept by his side. "There was a state funeral for Visconti. Everyone was there: the government, Fellini, de Sica, Claudia Cardinale, Alain Delon, everyone. They all wore dark sunglasses. Only I didn't. I wanted that people could see my face. I wanted to say goodbye to Luchino naked. There was nothing to hide. No tears were rolling out of my eyes. I guess I was in a state of trance. I only looked at the huge heart made of flowers that I built for the funeral. Everything else seemed unreal to me. I was acting in a film, without sound, without soul, without Luchino. I was alone. God, I think I deserved it. No!"
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end of part 11

greetings from vienna sebastian
11/14.1999